Captain Big Log
by Dengjisan
Summary: This story began when Essana told us in guild chat that she was grouped with two characters of doubtful background, judging by their names. And so, I replied to her with the first sentence of this story. Then, it pretty much escalated. Enjoy!


There once was three women, Netwhore, Townziegirl and Essana. They were about to walk the streets of two of them did not know, was that Cademimu had declared independence. Netwhore and Townziegirls had Republic whore outfits, so they did not gain costumers but blasterbolts.

Essana said: "You fools! I told you to dress in a relaxed jumpsuit, not blue bikinis!"

Essana, the smart girl, did on the other hand gain plenty of desperate men who wanted to celebrate independence. While Netwhore and Townziegirl was slaughtered, Essana survived. She had in fact deployed an android that looked just like her, and she had created that android in case the legendary captain Jonte would try to seduce her. Essana had decided to remain a virgin. And no man, not even mr. Smith, would ever strip Essana of her treasured virginity. But then Doctor Sakor Quillis came. He revealed the android just in time before Jonte had the chance to show his mighty powers to the machine. Jonte, of course, got furious.

"Why would Essana trick me like this? Hmm... Perhaps she wanted..." But then he calmed down and smiled. "Ah. She wants me to sex them both, at the same time. How thoughtful of her. Always wanted to do twins."

So Jonte skipped happily away and fetched the real Essana, and dragged her screaming off to his chambers where the android Essana waited. The door was closed. But someone banged the door. Essana opened, hoping that she would be saved. But no. It was her sister, Veesa. She was dressed in a silk robe, and said: "Now, do you want to leave me out of the party, Captain?"

Jonte just smiled his winning, female-melting smile and said: "Why of course not." And let her in too. They all had well enough room to fit in the kingsize bed. BUT THEN the door was banged once more.

A feared voice, untimely, said: "Captain, we need you out here IMMEDIATELY." Commodore Za'ssan had spoken.

Another voice was heard before Jonte could answer. Lieutenant Commander Storn said: "Commodore, we have the situation under control now."

Jonte silently thanked the teamaker, as the Commodore said "Nevermind then Captain Smith."

Footsteps of the two men where heard leaving the door. Essana, on the other hand, cursed her destiny. Of course someone would eventually figure out that she had made an android hooker-copy of herself. Now, she was trapped between her devilish sister, the android and Captain "Giant Log" Smith. Jonte was eager to show the two women and the droid his mysterious and highly rumoured powers of love. So he opened a hatch in the roof, and pulled down a strippers pole. What Jonte did not know was that Darth Sidre herself had hidden inside the hatch, in hopes she would get her chance with the most sexy man in the Eclipse. And who would be able to deny such a charming woman as miss Lessia? Sidre came graciously sliding down the pole, dressed in a classic Slave Girl Bikini. Then, she just stared at Essana, the android and Veesa, and dismissed them all with one word. "Out." Essana let out a sigh of releif, Veesa one of disappointment. The android remained silent, and the trio of women walked out the room.

Then, the Boss Lady of the Eclipse shut and locked Jontes door with the force. "I am very impressed with your work so far Catptain, but… I have yet to experience your rumoured skilfulness in bed." Sidre started. "And now, you will do as I command, and that is… Do me!"

Sidre stroke a sexy pose and her corrupted, pale body was reflected in Jontes wide and a bit scared stare. How the hell was he supposed to impress the greatest Sith Lady of them all? He had no force powers… but, on the other hand. That was not what she had requested. Jonte forced himself to think of Sidre as just another woman and not his boss, and suddenly it was not something forced, but something he would enjoy. Captain "Big Log" felt how his Big Log went hard under his imperial pants and he grabbed hold of the sickly pale woman with those blood-red eyes, as he felt his jacket and shirt was skilfully taken of him with the force, and suddenly his naked upper body was in contact with Sidre. But this romantic and pleasant-for-everyone-scene was soon to be interrupted. A shuttle raced in immense speed towards House Lessia. It went so fast that it crashed directly into the estate, and it did not stop until it hit the outer wall of the Captains chambers. Suddenly, the room where Jonte was about to do Sidre was filled with dust, and the shuttles door opened up. From the shuttle strolled no less than Exel Kar the Betrayer, and he had absolutely no clothes on him.

"This is a nice day to invade completely nake… Oh, aha!" Exel chanted gaily as he left his shuttle. Jonte looked from Exel to Sidre, and back to Exel again. Even if he was only wearing pants, and had a stunning woman in his arms, Jonte was ready to act. He dived under his bed and fetched his rifle, that he aimed at Exels exposed male parts. He could hear how Sidre laughed. "How convenient. Kill him."

Jonte did as he was told. First, he shot two steady shots at Exels red package, and he effectively exterminated the Betrayer by aiming one loaded shot at his head. Exell immediately fell to the floor, dead. "No time for pleasantries now, I suppose…" Jonte commented as he heard a battle raging outside. Sidre agreed. They got dressed, and went outside to help defeat the Pureblood rebels.

THA END :D :D :D


End file.
